Finals - 1st Place - Average Time 1:47:58

Team #	Team	1st Heat	2nd Heat	Average	3rd Heat	All Average
66	River City Dragons	01:49.38	01:45.55	01:47.46	01:47.80	01:47.58
21	Prostate Paddlers	01:48.80	01:50.37	01:49.58	01:51.00	01:50.06
113	Boogies Draggin Butt	01:52.90	01:56.77	01:54.83	01:53.20	01:54.29

Congratulations team, for the how-many-in-a-row RCD has come out on top in this event.

-Stuff I heard constantly:
"Zipped and clipped"
"Keep you hands down, mister!" (That's when I was undocking in the finals)
No use of the word "Jackass" since it's a 'family' event.